Ugh.  Note to self. Stop hanging out with married friends. It's making me feel all depressed.

So. After using us and moving on, Diedre is now trying to tell Damien she "misses me so much."  Bull shit. If she valued my friendship so much, she wouldn't have pulled her sneaky, underhanded crap.  I've had it with people's weird shit. I swear to GOD.

She told Damien and me both that she had started sleeping with someone for a place to live before.  And then she moves on to my best friend. What am I supposed to think?

I hate liars. I really do.

January: Beginning of Winter Term, second term of my first real year back at Portland State.  Damien and I had been together for six months.  Opera workshop, beginning of real friendships at school. Beginning of my relationship with Ashton.  New Years was spent cuddled in bed, hiding from the people in our house, I had just moved into the apartment here in Vancouver.

February:  Damien working at the foundry still. Days spent walking to school, bitching about music history, working on opera workshop scenes.  Auditioned for the Portland Opera chorus.  Valentine's day thoroughly ignored, but acknowledged at the same time.

March: Heard back re. Portland Opera, have gotten in.  My first paying gig as a singer. Had to deal with Niel DePonte as part of Chamber Choir, and wanted to die in rehearsals.  Have aced all my classes.  I meet Dani.

April:  Damien gets fired from ESCO, begins drawing unemployement. I can start thinking about quitting my job.  Spring term starts. I'm bitter about not getting into La Boheme. Pam encourages me even further. I hear one of the first court phone calls in Ashton's custody case, and things begin going in Damien's favor.  Dani and I are becoming close friends.

May: I quit my job at RIMG!! At Dani's urging and Damien's support, I shave my hair into a mohawk to piss off my bosses.  It gets dyed purple shortly after. I am nearing the end of my first year back at PSU with great anticipation.

June: Spring term ends. My hair starts turning different colours.  I dye it turquoise. Damien and I go to Hive for the first time, and run into Gene who does not initially recognize me until he spots my tattoos. I'm still getting apprehensive if I see him at club nights. I audition for Vagabond Opera and impress them by being a punk opera singer.  We go to Petr Sorfa's birthday party at Hive.  Dani and I are inseparable.

July: Our one year anniversary. We're both blown away that the time has gone by both so quickly and so slowly.  Damien finds out he must deal with his assault charge, or face severance and adoption for Ashton.  I fill out my contracts for PO an begin my AGMA membership just in time to start rehearsals for Traviata.  I get yelled at by Pam for not having done lessons all summer.

August: Damien goes down to Phoenix and I lose my fucking mind.  Thanks to Dani, Martin, PJ, and Ashton, I manage to retain a small degree of sanity until his return. I have my callback for Vagabond Opera while he is gone, and have my first moment of Zen as it comes to auditions. I go in not caring if I get the spot or not, and do a fantastic job.  I'm denied the spot due to not playing another lead instrument, but I impress the audition group.  I'm making lots of friends in the chorus, and start pondering the possibility of POSA.

September: The opera season officially opens, and fall term 2008 begins. I take a full course load.  Ashton's 7th birthday is the 21st.  I start working with Pam again, though our relationship seems slightly strained.. Damien and I fly down to Phoenix, and I meet everyone for the first time - Natasha, Diedre, Matt, Todd.  I sit in on the hearings for the custody case and the assault charge, and lose less of my mind that when Damien was gone the month before. I discover I have a knack for Guitar Hero and Rockband, and am immediately addicted.  I also experience being an uber-goth at a goth night for the first time ever (Phoenix goths don't really dress up that much).  We open Traviata, and my mother tells me I make a fabulous whore on stage.  I get decent roles for opera workshop.  I also audition for Stefan Minde (former director of Portland Opera)  to sing in a recital he's organizing in October, but am told that the spot has already been filled and that they wish they'd heard me sooner.

October: Mostly just school. Diedre and I have become marvelous friends in the short time we visited in Phoenix, and the barrage of text messages and emails that ensued after that.  I remember my father's birthday, thanks to Damien, for the first time since I've moved out.  I decide to say fuck it and audition for POSA, recording my audition CD just barely in the nick of time, accompanying myself, and receive a live audition slot to my amazement.  We begin rehearsing Fidelio at the opera.  I pick up my score for what I know will be the spring opera at PSU and then promptly ignore it.  Diedre comes up to visit!  We convince her that the PCNW is teh shiznit, and she decides she will move up here.  I get called in as a backup alto for Stefan Minde's recital I'd auditioned for, and nail it to rave reviews.   Halloween is fun, though laid back. We take Ashton and his cousins trick or treating, and then Damien, Martin, and I get horribly lost looking for the 18+ haunted house in Gresham, where we discover one of the people working there knows MIkey, who we've unfortunately become at odds with because of her behaviour.

November: I fail at area recital.  My body decides it's not goiing to do what I tell it, and I majorly disappoint Pam and myself. People keep telling me I sounded great, but I know better.  I get exceedingly depressed over it.  I get invited to Pam's birthday party, which makes me kind of uncomfortable.  I go, and have a much better time than I expect - Pam is back to her old self, I discover just how bitchy certain classmates can be, get fawned over by Richard Bower, meet a bunch of upper crust people in the opera world, and then get to sing for them.  Damien has a midlife crisis on his birthday which I talk him out of a day or two later. I nail my audition for Falstaff at school, and am single cast as the female lead.  As it turns out, it ends up NOT being a Christine Meadows' Studio Production, but instead, a Pamela South, Sue Hinshaw, Carl Halvorson, and Christine Meadow's production.  Several of my favourite people are cast.  I ace my first written visual analysis of a piece of art with one of the highest grades in my art history class.  The opera season is over, but I have picked up several students at school to play for and I wow the entire staff.  Bad things happen for Diedre, but she decides to move up in December.

December: I get a standing ovation at the opera workshop performance, which runs way over time.  I scramble to finish essays for my Japanese literature class, and get excellent grades on all of them. I take what feels like the worst final of my entire life in my art history class, but fly through my jury and pass my level change! David Jimerson tells Pam that  I sing my aria from the Messiah more beautifully than he has ever heard it.  I got cast with Opera Theater Oregon for a June production.  My birthday past quite calmly and uneventfully, which made me a happy kitty.  I survived to 24.  Damien had the final court hearing in Ashton's custody case. Jennifer started calling again, which made my blood pressure rise immensely, but she's going to fuck herself out of Ashton's life.   Guardianship is awarded to Damien's mom, which gives him a bit more time to finish the requirements for custody.  Jennifer shows up at the court date, and visitation is disallowed until a child psychologist is able to determine whether or not her calls and visits are beneficial or detrimental to Ashton.  The PCNW gets 8" - 13" of snow for 10 days, and we are stuck at Mary Lynn's twice in that time - a Monday when Ashton decides he wants to go back to Grandma's, and Christmas Eve/Day. Christmas is fun at first, but winds up stressful and depressing (just for me).  I eventually get over it.  Diedre arrives on New Years Eve!!!

I had to post both my email and my mother's response.  It's too funny.

" I have my book list.  You are not going to like it.  The class with the fewest books needed is French.... with THREE.

French:

Ensuite, workbook and textbook
English Grammar for Students of French

Korean Art:

Buddhist Sculpture of Korea, by Lena Kim
Handbook of Korean Art: Earthenware and Celadon, by Youngsook Pak and Roderick Whitfield.
Handbook of Korean Art: Buddhist Sculpture
Handbook of Korean Art: Folk Painting
Handbook of Korean Art: White Porcelain and Punch'ongware
Korean Landscape Painting, by Song-mi Yi
20th Century Korean Art
Korea, Old and New, author credited as Eckhart by the professor.

Asian Art History:

History of Far Eastern Art 5th Ed., by Sherman Lee
**the rest of the reference materials should be findable in a library, so I'm going to try that first.**

Japanese Literature Through Film:

The Makioka Sisters, by Tanizaki Jun'ichiro
Snow Country, by Kawabata Yasunari
The Harp of Burma, by Takeyama Michio
The Woman in the Dunes, by Abe Kobo.

Plus, I need two full opera scores - Barber of Seville and Falstaff.  I'm apparently going to be doing enough of Barber during opera workshop to warrant the full score, and well, we know why I need Falstaff.

May I explode now?

Love,

Claire
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From:	Rosemary
To:	Claire

Hello!
Seeking classically trained musicians, all instruments welcome, who defy the social norms generally associated with our field. We're looking for classical musicians with tattoos, piercings, weird hair, giant boots, etc. who are interested in showing the world that yes, weirdos can produce beautiful music. We are currently trying to put together a recital and/or recital series in the Portland area featuring classical musicians who don't look like everyone else. Pending the number of responses, there may be an audition process, but we're mostly trying to find out what kind of interest there may be for a performance of this nature.  Looking forward to meeting/talking with y'all!  Please feel free to repost and responses can be emailed to onikobella at gmail dot com.

a Saint Cecilia medallion in this odd little town?  I've never actually gone out looking for religious jewelry and haven't the faintest idea of where to start.

Cheers.

DamnPortlanders, help a struggling-artist-in-need.

I recently re-read the submission and terms of use policies on deviantArt and have many, MANY objections to the underhanded wording and rights they claim.

Does anyone know of a similar site that does things above-board and honestly?  Y'know, just a website that is out there for artists to display their artwork without having to worry about people trying to steal their work or profit from it?

Cheers.